Thursday, November 18, 2010

Woody Allen Jokes

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time.

I was thrown out of NYU. On my metaphysics final, they caught me cheating. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.


I'm so excited—I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

No comments:

Post a Comment